Wednesday, October 6, 2010

And further ponderings

This is in response to my somewhat drowsy yet caffeine-fueled thoughts from last night, of which you can check out here. Amazing how much clearer thoughts can be after getting some sleep.

Anyway, back on topic. I'm sitting here in my PSYC 485 lab and just read a chapter of Crazy Love, a book I am reading with my friend Ginny. it is an awesome book that I recommend to anyone, but today it particularly spoke to me and brought me such a great sense of peace. "God will ensure my success in accordance with His plan, not mine" (p. 60). I keep on reading that line over and over, and am reminded that I do not cannot have this all figured out now. It is His plan, not mine, that He will give me the tools, strength, and energy to succeed in.Obviously I still need action on my part, that of loving and trusting Him, and trying to discern His will for my life, but-- I do not need to know everything now.

That's the problem with being a Type A, pre-planner, detail-oriented person. It is hard for me to let go of my future. I may not see how balancing work and family and still keeping God the number one priority is going to work, mostly due to some books I've been reading for my Marriage Institution class that essentially say:
-It is impossible to have two successful careers and still care for the house & kids
-These books never mention the family having a religious community. Obviously the book describes a non-random sample that was taken from a particular geographical community, etc. But, after reading it, it gets you really down about how you thought your life would be.

But, aside over. So, I may not see how it's going to work, but God has a plan. By praying, asking for discernment, trusting in Him and loving Him in action and in word, and following what is revealed to me, that's all I need to know for now. I do not need to know where we'll be living in 8 months, or what I'll be doing in five years. And I'm actually totally OK with that. As for now, I have opportunities to pursue God in various small groups, and I am going to take advantage of them. Matt & I have started going to a church where we are both comfortable. I am slowly learning just how to keep the priorities straight, though I know it will be something I can always improve upon.

Oh what amazing things can happen when you trust Him. :)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for writing these last two posts. I underlined that line last night when I was reading! It's a really great book- definitely helps me get my perspective back when I've lost it. I am right there with you about not knowing a lot of variables, and it can be terrifying if you think about it all at once. It really helps to have a good friend going through a lot of these things at the same time, and I'm glad we're reading together and able to encourage each other :) I love you!